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Facial Hair in the News (November 2009)

22 November 2009

Yesterday Visanthe Shiancoe of the Minnesota Vikings chalked up the extension of coach Brad Childress’s contract to his new beard.  And his leadership skills in producing an 8-1 record thus far, of course.

In an attempt to comfort readers of Us Magazine worried about Brad Pitt, Dr. Alan Peterkin assured them that Pitt’s beard is simply a developmental issue that will resolve itself.  “Most men growing facial hair around his age are being ironic. It’s a bit of a wink of the eye; ‘I’m not taking this too seriously and nor should you.'”

In an unrelated development, glittery pop starlet Mariah Carey has played a frumpy social worker in the upcoming move, Precious.  “I had to lose all vanity,’’ Carey said. “I had to change my demeanor, my inside, layers of who I am, to become that woman.’’  Most shocking of all was her willingness to sport a mini moustache, which some working on the set claimed was genuine.  Carey has vehemently denied the accusation, as has her lawyer.

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